9 months later...
And with a title like that,I'd better re-phrase!!It is just about 9 months since I posted and at long last I feel ready to blog again.I missed it, and I missed everyone who read it and commented on it.
So,9 months...what a roller coaster they have been and not something I ever want to go through again.For those of you who don't know(and I did keep it rather quiet),my Dad was diagnosed with secondary lung cancer in February.He died,at home,on May 29th at 8.15 in the morning.All the family were there.
I cannot describe how devastating it is/was to lose him.We were so very close and once in a while it actually scared me that we were so close simply because I knew that I would lose him one day.
And that brings us to now.Lots of pain is left,lots of tears to shed(and boy,have I cried!) but also lots of wonderful memories.I think I like the latterthe best;-)
posted by marianne at
8:10 pm
8 Comments:
Hi Marianne, Claire told me about your dad, I'm so sorry. I'm glad your family was all there, I'm sure it meant a lot to him.
Having just lost my mother (27th Sept.) I think I know exactly what you went / are going through. I got home a week beforehand, and my dad went into hospital that day too, so things were pretty messy. She was diagnosed with extensive local colon cancer, but with no secondaries. Too weak to do any form of treatment.
I was there when she died, and my dad and 2 brothers were only a few seconds too late. It was so hard, and still is.
Take your time, and take care
AnneMarie
Glad that you are back, but so sorry to hear about your father. Keeping you in my prayers and thoughts!
(((Marianne)))
I`ve missed you in the blog world!
Hugs to you-so very glad to see you back!
I knew your dad had taken ill and you went back home. However I had no idea he was that ill and that it was this serious. Oh my god, that is so horrible, your poor wonderful dad, I am just so sorry, Marianne, I know how close you were to your dad. In fact I knew you were a daddy's girl.And I recall, you mentioned how grass and lawn care were his hobby. I never forgot you said that cute thing about your dad (lawn care). Same as my DH's hobby. And for what it's worth, both of my parents have been quite ill at different times, really seriously ill actually. My mom battled breast cancer and my dad with his heart. And although I had thought I was going to actually lose my dad, I didn't, but man we came real close. I am sure it will happen to me someday too. And I have thought about what I would do a few times. I am extremely close with my dad. And the answer is, I just don't know how I would handle losing my dad at all. I just wouldn't want to go on anymore (obviously I would never hurt myself but I would be extremely broken hearted). I'd just wanna slink into my bedroom and never come out ever again. I might even flip my lid and go absolutely bonkers for a time and be extremely hysterical afterwards. I just don't think I could exist without my dad. Or more importantly.... that I would want to. I know everyone is different but when my dad was in hospital, I would think late at night stuff like....what would my first Christmas be like without my dad? What would my first New Year be without my dad? His birthday? Would I think about my dad, all day long? And would this feeling go on forever and ever? People say it gets better with time, but does it really? Or is it just a load of crud? Do you know what I mean?
Anyway, I am glad you are back to blogging.And I agree about you stopping blogging for that while too. If something happened to my family like that. I'd say...forget the blog! Bye blog. Ha ha ha. My blog would be frozen on whatever day it happened. Until I felt, I could come back myself. So, I understand you having to take that break. Heck ya!
I think the one thing though, that would get me back to reality if my dad did die (knocks on wood it doesn't happen for a long while but ykwim). Would be my children. My children would be the one reason for me to go on. The one reason to go back to the land of the living. The reason to keep me smiling. And continue to live a happy life.
Oh Marianne, I am just besides myself here. And I am so sorry you have been going through all this. I really, really am. : (
hello marianne.
nice to see you here.
hope you are enjoying the beautiful Kyushu fall weather.
Hey when are you coming to Nagasaki?
love Jan
Hi, Glad you are back.
Keep hold of those memories, the laughs, the smiles, the silly songs whatever you've got . They'll carry you through.
Thinking of you.
Marianne - I'm so glad we are reconnected now. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Perhaps someday you'll be able to upload a photo - I'd love to see the two of you together - I never met him since we became friends in Japan.
... and a toast to celebrate the contribution of a very important man who contributed to you being who you are today.
Much Love
Patricia
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home