Kimonos Galore

November marked two very important occasions for both girls.Emilie had her "Miyamairi" after which we were officially allowed to go outside so it was very eagerly awaited for by me!And Annie had her "Shichi-Go-San" celebration .

On November 1st,Millie had her special day.Miyamairi ( "shrine visit") is a traditional Shinto rite of passage for newborns in Japan.One month after birth (31st day for boys and 32 days for girls), parents and grandparents take the child to a Shinto shrine, to express gratitude to the deities for the birth of a baby and have shrine priest pray for his or her health and happiness.

The baby will be draped in a kimono and often one of the grandmothers will carry the child;my mum carried Annie and this time,MIL got her go as mum wasn't here!As for the kimono,in Annie's case,my PIL bought her a very beautiful kimono that is used during the later Schichi-Go-san celebrations when the child is older.For Millie,my SIL gave us the kimono her daughter(Annie and Millie's cousin) also used; it was a lovely gesture as usually the child will keep his/her kimono to pass on to their future offspring.

My PIL with a slumbering Millie(and Annie running away from the camera in the background).My FIL is carrying a bottle of sake which is presented to the gods then given back to us to drink in celebration of the day.

The ceremony itself is quite short and private ; before the alter ,the priest wearing robes and headgear will recite a prayer and swings a Tamagushi right and left.During the prayer,the priest cites the name of the parents,the family's address and the baby's name and birthday.Afterwards,the parents,grandparents,siblings and other relatives(if present) go forward one by one to bow to the alter and place tamagushi on a table in front of the alter.Then the priest bangs on the taiko drum to wake the gods,announcing the news of the child's birth and to finalise the ceremony.

It is a simple yet beautiful ceremony and as important to the Japanese as a Christian Baptism is to Christians.And as with most baptisms,the child is given gifts but in Japan they are monetary gifts which are given by family,relatives and friends.Millie was asleep for most of the ceremony as just like her big sister,she slept through the taiko drumming as well!

This time I manage to get in the background and seem to be complaining about something to someone.What a surprise;)

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Then,on November 15th,we had Annie's "Shichi-go-san" which means "Seven-Five-Three" This is one of the most important festivals for Japanese children, observed annually on November 15. On this date girls of three and seven years and boys of five years of age are taken by their parents to the Shintō shrine to offer thanks for having reached their respective ages and to invoke blessings for the future. In former times the day was also marked by five-year-old boys of the samurai class being dressed in a hakama (pleated, divided skirt) and presented to their respective feudal lords, seven-year-old girls wearing the formal obi (stiff sash), and the three-year-old girls having their hair arranged on top of their heads, all for the first time.

Nowadays,it is quite an event and of course a chance to dress up your children and get some professional photos taken as well as visiting the shrine.Due to busy lifestyles,children are taken for their snapshots and shrine visits anytime from the beginning of November(and sometimes earlier).This year,November 15th fell on a Saturday so we were able to do things as traditional dictates.Which delighted my MIL;)

At 9am,we took Annie to the local hairdressers/beauticians and they started work on her hair.Annie was really nervous at this point which was a blessing as it took a long time to do her hair and she stayed still for nearly all the time!After her hair and make-up(the latter a request by Annie),her kimono was fitted.This all took over and hour.Then we went to get some professional photos taken and by this time,Annie was sick and tired of sitting and standing still so Kenichi and I emerged from that feeling a wee bit stressed.

Then on to the shrine where we were joined by my PIL and and Mattea,our friend who also took some fantastic photos for us; I never knew she was so talented and if we'd known,we wouldn't have bothered with the professional pics!Thanks again Mattea and also for giving permission to use some of the pictures here.At the shrine,Annie was blessed along with a few other childen and prayers were said by the priest along with some more drumming.After the shrine,we all went out for a meal and Annie changed out of her kimono and wanted her hair down again so spent the rest of the afternoon looking like a Cher throw back from the early 1960's.


Anyway,I will let the photos tell the story of the day!

The last photo is is my favourite.Notice Annie's footwear; we were lent some zori by the beautician(which you can see her wearing in previous pictures) so we couldn't let her wear them outside.Instead,she wore her old grotty daycare sneakers which upset MIL no end! Also,if you look on her back,you can see white envelopes hanging from her kimono;again,as with Miyamairi,this occasion is marked with monetary gifts from family,relaltves and frineds.The money is put in special envelopes and tied to the back of the obi.Annie,like Millie, did pretty well ;)

My Little Diva

After perfecting her ABC song earlier on this year,Annie refused point blank to sing it.Until recently and now she wont stop.I managed to capture this "performance" on video and it is(TG) a short one;some go on for 10 or 20 minutes...After the ABC song(s) is her rather odd rendition of "Ponyo Ponyo",the theme song from the new film "Ponyo on the Cliff"by the master of Japanese Anime Hayao Miyazaki.

One down,one to go.

Kudos to the British Embassy for processing Millie's application and sending us her passport within 7 days.Her Japanese one will only be ready on Wednesday and we applied for it before the British one.

Drum Roll please...

The time has come(and both kiddies are fast asleep so I have time) for,yes,The Birth Story.My reason for blogging about it is actually three fold; I want to write it down so that I wont forget,my family in the UK still have no idea of what happened and finally,a few people have actually asked me to blog about it.

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As you may remember (and I will never ever forget),I was rather anxiously awaiting the birth of Millie for what seemed like an age.She was a week late when my doctor told me that we would give her one more week to make an appearance and if she was still not out,I would be induced.That was on a Monday and by the Thursday,nothing at all had happened so I was dreading the days to come as I was so convinced that I would never give birth.the only sign that something was happening was that I had Braxton Hicks contractions on and off.Every time I had a few I would religiously note the time and get vaguely excited if I had a few in a row but each time they just stopped and I felt disappointed again and again.On Thursday night,I had a few more and they were getting quite painful but low and behold,they just disappeared into thin air.On the Friday morning,I had a few more and they went on for some time but never got worse and were random.I settled down for my afternoon nap and decided that if I was really in labour,I wouldn't be able to sleep as the contractions would be too painful...I was asleep for over 2 hours.

When I woke up,I still had the pains.And by 4pm I realised that the pains had worsened and although no more frequent than before I couldn't really drive.So I asked Kenichi to pick Annie from daycare when he finished work.So he finished work there and then,rushed to get Annie and was home within 10 minutes.Amazing what a men can do when they put their minds to it.In the meantime I had a shower and was feeling fine and after dusting off my hospital bags and putting them in the car left a message with my mum to say that we were off to the hospital but may well be back later as I felt I was in false labour.

We got to the clinic and my room was ready for me and after a few questions and a blood test from the nurse and midwives on duty I went up to settle in.The room was lovely and big with an en suite loo and we spent a good few minutes opening cupboards and expecting things.A meal was waiting for me so while I ate,Kenichi and Annie went out to a local restaurant to eat.By the time they came back,I was in bed and hooked up to a baby monitor and feeling very perky.Annie and I had a few cuddles and I told her some stories and we just relaxed together.The contractions weren't increasing or worsening .At 9pmish,Kenichi decided to take Annie home and gave her a bath and settled her to sleep.My mother-in-law arrived at our house soon afterwards and stayed the night with her.Kenichi then came back to the clinic.

"Woo Hoo...Look at my room with an en suite loo eh!"

In the meantime,some of my contractions were getting pretty severe and at 10pmish a nurse came and took me through to the delivery room.Now usually they would have waited but the clinic was being re-vamped at the time which meant that my bedroom was on the 3rd floor and the temporary deliver rooms were down on the 1st floor with a little walk from the lifts.So they were moving us all down earlier than necessary just in case we started giving birth in the lifts which would be rather a nuisance no doubt.

So off we went and I settled on the horrible birthing bed/chair thingy and was hooked up to a drip and the baby monitor again and watched as most of my contractions didn't actually register on the damn machine; indeed,they were weakening.So the waiting began.Kenichi returned at 10.30pmish and we just chatted away and once in a while if I got a nasty contraction,I would start concentrating on self-hypnosis,or what I think self-hypnosis is.Clever eh?!And this is were the fun began.I wanted to relax as much as possible during the contractions so had these wonderful imagines that I had previously decided on .I had one image of myself in a garden,walking under autumn leaves which I though would be very apt and keeping in with the season.When that stopped being of help,I had one of me and my father and us talking together and that really did help a lot.When the contractions started to get quite nasty,I had an image of dad holding out his had as well which was very comforting.And then the images that I had no control over suddenly popped into my mind and I am still rather taken aback by them; I had Ricky Gervais talking to me as his character,David Brent , in the comedy "The Office".....he was telling me all about his thoughts on labour and pain control during natural child birth.Then the character of Gareth also started chiming in.It was a truly bizarre experience as I would have peaceful images of flowers and gardens,then dad and suddenly during the next contraction I would have David and Gareth advising me.Bizarre.

Anyway,the contractions were not getting closer together but one in 5 was pretty bad when I would retreat into my own world to see who would be there waiting for me but the rest of the time,Kenichi and I chatted and commented on wanting to shoot the seemingly hundreds of people who had confidently told us that your second labour is far shorter than your first blah blah blah(and these people,incidentally,were also the ones who told me that the second child is always born early...yeah right!).

We were left alone most of the time but once in a while a nurse or midwife would pop her head in to see if we were still there.There was another women in labour in the adjacent room(her fourth) and it was comforting to know that she had been in labour for a good few hours as well.And I wonder if she also felt the sense of competition in the air to see who would pop the sprog out first...hmmm.

It was now coming up to 2 am and all my hopes of a fast labour and of winning the birth contest were over.The woman in the next room started to give birth and the doctor was called to come.He lives just a minute or so away so is only called at the last minute or in emergencies.God,I was so jealous of that woman but wanted to tell her to shut up when we could hear her screaming "Itai Itai" (Owww) over and over again...grief,it was her fourth kid so she should have know that it bloody well hurts;).She had her baby and the doctor came over to see me and I had an internal and he said that I was nearly 10cm dilated at last.But the contractions were still not as bad as I knew they should be and I had no urge to push.Then he was called back to the other woman's bedside as apparently her placenta was not coming out as it should be so we were abandoned yet again.

But I had a cunning plan.At close to 3am,a midwife popped her head round the door so I said that I thought that I was getting the urge to push which was actually a bit of a lie.I just wanted something to happen for goodness sake.So a few minutes later the doctor came in after having safely delivered the placenta next door and at last decided to burst my waters.It was an odd experience and as they burst I asked rather sarcastically if my waters had burst then,forgetting that in general,sarcasm in Japan isn't much used.So I was given a lot of nods and assurance that they were indeed burst.Then the doctor started asking me to push and bugger,I remembered what I had told the midwife so I had to just start oushing.And it was all rather tough and painful.But after a set of pushes or two,the nice doctor(who incidentally,turned out to have a rather nice body for a soon to be 60 year old when in a T-shirt) told me that he would have the baby out in the next set of pushes,I was so happy as (a) it took about 2 hours and 100 pushes to get Annie out and (2) I wouldn't have to worry about pushing from below my waist to avoid bursting blood vessels in my face and eyes as all the books warn you about(coz who wants to look like they had a round with Mike Tyson when they are seeing visitors the next day?) and could just push any old how.Which is just what I did and suddenly ,after the episiotomy which I will not go into(although let me add that here they don't use any namby pamby anaesthetic so yep,you can feel it;) ) he started pulling out the baby's head and then that was out at 3.10am .And that was the end of the pain I thought,but NO.It hurt when her body came out so I protested loudly as I was not happy that the pain continued.But then she was out and held up for us to see and bless her,Millie was born screaming her little lungs out...and has continued to cry for England and Japan ever since.Then I was given a few whiffs of oxygen that had been hidden away until then,go figure and enjoyed the drama of having the mask over my face and it all felt very ER-ish for a minute or two until that damn doctor started to get my placenta out ASAP no doubt worried that I would be like the women next door and take ages doing so which meant that he would only be back in bed after 4amish.So he really used brute force and pushed on my tummy like his life depended on it and again,I protested loudly and told him to stop it...In Japanese and English just to get my sentiments across to him twice.But very soon the placenta

Then it was really all over and I was cleaned up.I rang my mum on Kenichi's mobile and told her that Millie had arrived and then Millie was brought over to us after having been cleaned up,weighed and measured.She was bound to my chest and we spent the next hour or so like that and she even suckled a bit like a little barracuda.Then she was taken to the nursery,Kenichi buggered on back to the bedroom and I was left all alone on that nasty old bed thing until 5am as they don't let you move for 2 hours after the birth.And they left the lights on so I couldn't even doze.Sheesh.But after that,I was allowed up at last and went back to my room and Kenichi and I lay down together and talked about it all as neither of us could sleep.

"Hard work this birth business..."

And that is that.Except the comment that I have absolutely no recollection of making just seconds after Millie was born but Kenichi swore I said it.I said to him,it seems,with a big smile on my face " Well,that's two down,One to go". Oh My Goodness...What was I thinking??!

I love this photo...I was so knackered but thought it best to put my hand on top of Millie so I looked more like a loving and caring mother.And note that nasty old bed and killer stirrups...

One of the nicest people I have worked with in the past 16 years is Matsushita-Sensei ,a vice-principal at one of the local junior high schools.Friendly,funny,easy to talk to,caring,compassionate,interesting,witty,energetic....the list could go on and on.He is the kind of person to remember names and the names of family members so when I was absent due to Annie's sickness,he always asked after her by name.He also spent 3 years teaching at one of the Japanese Schools in Indonesia which made him pretty aware of the challenges I face every day as a foreigner living and working in a foreign country.Little things but they do make a difference and it is not surprising that he is probably one of the most popular teachers I have known;popular amongst not only the student body but also the staff and parents alike.

Last Wednesday,Matsushita-Sensei woke up at 5am with a blinding headache.By 7am,he had been rushed to hospital after suffering a massive stroke.On Sunday afternoon,his life support machine was switched off.

He was just 48.

There are no words to describe how we all feel ;"devastated"doesn't really come close.His wake was last night and funeral is today.As so many will attend,the family have hired the biggest funeral hall to cope .I hope that the sheer number of people will be of some comfort to his family.

Just minutes before I got the news of Matsushita-Sensei's death on Sunday,I received a forwarding mail from my friend in New Zealand.The timing was so apt and I ask you to take a minute to read through part of the mail :

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) .she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ.

Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die.... they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE Remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S.... Ask the individual to SMILE.
T..... Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently, e.g. It is sunny out today)
R ....Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 999 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke -- Stick out Your Tongue NOTE: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other,that is also an indication of a stroke.

Thank you.

Settling In.

It took me all of 2 days to realise that Millie has extra special powers ; I swear she knows the second I go near the PC or touch the keyboard or mouse.She can be in the deepest sleep and still seems to sense when I am trying to sneak in a quick mail or,woe betide me,do some blogging.So that is why I haven't been able to blog for so long and have so many mails to write.And needless to say,she is stirring right now but I have her on my knees so am ready to shove my breast in her mouth if she tries to sabotage my attempts to get up to date here yet again.Crafty little minx.

The last few weeks have whizzed past and I can hardly believe that Millie is nearly 6 weeks old.We have had the usual ups and downs of newborn life plus a few other unforeseen events including Annie sick with a high fever again the day Millie and I came home from the clinic and Millie nearly hospitalised due to a bout of diarrhoea.Lots of fun as you can well imagine as well as the battle to keep breast feeding,the usual sleepless nights and coping with visitors popping in at odd hours(and more often than not when we were having our afternoon naps) and trying to keep ourselves fed,dressed and sane.But we managed and it was mostly due to Kenichi doing everything and anything and friends who took Annie for a few hours,made food for us and even did the cleaning on a couple of occasions.

But now we are settling in and I am out and about now that the first month has passed.Here in Japan,one is strongly encouraged to stay in the home for the first month of the baby's life.I am not going to argue the pros and cons of this but just to say that living in the sticks,these traditions are not taken lightly and yes,I could ignore this one but it is not worth the hassle and the backlash.So indeed,I stayed at home for the month although did have a few trips to the hospital and the clinic,and to a friends house on the way back from the clinic which doesn't count;).

So we are officially allowed out again and it is really nice but we don't do much or go far as yet as I am concentrating on breast feeding and Millie feeds every 2 hours so that limits the amount we can do .And she is rather vocal baby and makes herself heard when she is not happy which is rather embarrassing when we are shopping at the local supermarket.

Millie is a real snuggler and wants to be held all the time and,as I said,very vocal,She is also a smiler and I had my first proper smile on day she reached 4 weeks old.She also "talks" a lot and com-plains a lot already.She adores Annie and Annie is totally in love with her; she tells me every day that Millie is the best baby in the whole wide world and gets terrible worried if anyone apart from Kenichi and me try to touch her.She loves giving Millie bottles which is so useful and is a great help during nappy changes as well and it wont be long before she is doing the nappies all by herself.We sleep together in the "girls" bed and Kenichi has moved into one of our tatami rooms for the time being which suits us all well as he gets uninterrupted sleep so can get up early to walk the dog,put the wash on,clean,make breakfast etc and Annie,Millie and I get a big bed to ourselves.As we co-sleep,Millie rarely cries as I am there to see to her every need at once, and Annie sleeps through it all anyway.

And finally,a bit of video that I took to send to my mum but it was too heavy to send as an attachment,so I am adding it here.Annie was telling Millie a story(which doesn't make much sense) and they looked so sweet together!